Fight Club

AIRPLANE CABIN

VOICE
There are three ways to make napalm.
One, mix equal parts of gasoline and frozen orange juice...

Jack turns to see Tyler. Without turning to Jack, Tyler continues:

TYLER
Two, equal parts gasoline and diet cola. Three, dissolve kitty-litter
in gasoline until the mixture is thick
.

JACK
Pardon me?

Tyler turns to Jack.

JACK
This is how I met –

TYLER
Tyler Durden.
Tyler offers his hand. Jack takes it.

TYLER
You know why they have oxygen masks on planes?

JACK
No, supply oxygen?

TYLER
Oxygen gets you high. In a catastrophic emergency, we’re taking
giant, panicked breaths
...
Tyler grabs a safety instruction card from the seatback,
hands it to Jack.

Suddenly, we become euphoric and docile.
We accept our fate.
Tyler points to passive faces on the drawn figures.
Emergency water landing, 600 miles per hour. Blank faces – calm as
Hindu cows.

Jack laughs.

JACK
What do you do, Tyler?

TYLER
What do you want me to do?

JACK
I mean – for a living.

TYLER
Why? So you can say, “Oh, that’s what you do.” – And be a smug little
shit about it?

Jack laughs. Tyler reaches under the seat in front of him and lifts a briefcase.

TYLER
You have a kind of sick desperation in your laugh.

Jack points to his own briefcase.
JACK
We have the same briefcase.

Tyler turns the top of his briefcase toward Jack.
TYLER
Open it.

Jack looks at Tyler, then pops the latches and raises the lid
to reveal quaintly-wrapped bars of soap.


TYLER
Soap – the yardstick of civilization.
reaches in his pocket
I make and sell soap...

Tyler hands Jack his card. “THE PAPER STREET SOAP COMPANY.”

TYLER
If you were to add nitric acid to the soap-making process,
one would get nitroglycerin. With enough soap, one could blow up the world,
if one were so inclined
.

Tyler snaps the briefcase shut. Jack stares.

JACK
Tyler, you are by far the most interesting “single-serving” friend
I’ve ever met.

Tyler stares back. Jack, enjoying his own chance to be witty,
leans closer to Tyler.


JACK
You see, when you travel, everything is small, self-contained

TYLER
The spork. I get it. You’re very clever.

JACK
Thank you.

TYLER
How’s that working out for you?

JACK
What?

TYLER
Being clever.

JACK
Well, uh... great.

TYLER
Keep it up, then. Keep it right up.

Tyler stands, looks towards the aisle.

TYLER
As I squeeze past, do I give you the ass or the crotch?
Tyler moves to the aisle, his ass toward Jack, walks away...

TYLER
We are defined by the choices we make.
Tyler goes to the curtain dividing First Class, slaps the curtain aside
and sits in an empty seat. Jack watches.


JACK
How I came to live with Tyler is: airlines have this policy about
vibrating luggage.

BAGGAGE CLAIM AREA – NIGHT
Utterly empty of baggage. No people except for Jack and a
SECURITY TASK FORCE MAN. The Security TFM, smirking,
holds a receiver to his ear from an official phone on the wall.

SECURITY TFM
to Jack
Throwers don’t worry about ticking. Modern bombs don’t tick.

JACK
Excuse me? “Throwers?”

SECURITY TFM
Baggage handlers. But when a suitcase vibrates,
the throwers have to call the police.

JACK
My suitcase was vibrating?

SECURITY TFM
Nine time out of ten, it’s an electric razor. But, every once in a while...
whispers
...it’s a dildo. It’s airline policy not to imply ownership in the event of
a dildo. We use the indefinite article: “A dildo.” Never “Your dildo.”

Jack sees, through the window, Tyler, at the curb, throwing his briefcase
into the back of a shiny, red convertible.
Tyler leaps over the door into the driver’s seat and peels out.
Jack turns away, looks at the Security TFM.
In the background, a harried man dashes after Tyler and the convertible, screaming.


JACK
to Security TFM
I had everything in that bag. My C.K.* shirts... my D.K.N.Y.** shoes...

*C.K. – Calvin Klein
**D.K.N.Y. – Donna Karan New York


VOCABULARY:
aisle – nawa; korytarz, przejście
baggage handlers – bagażowy
blank faces – calm as Hindu cows – twarze pozbawione wyrazu, spokojne niczym hinduskie krowy
by far – zdecydowanie,
eg. Watching television was by far the most popular free time activity.
convertible – kabriolet
curb – [Am.E.] krawężnik; [Br.E.] kerb
to dash after – pędzić za
dildo – wibrator
dissolve kitty-litter in gasoline until the mixture is thick – rozpuść żwirek dla kota w benzynie aż mikstura zrobi się gęsta;
kitty-litter – cat litter [Am.E.]; a substance like small grey stones that people put in boxes for cats that live indoors, and which the cats use as a toilet
gasoline [Am.E.] – petrol [Br.E.]
docile – posłuszny, uległy
emergency water landing – awaryjne lądowanie na wodzie
every once in a while – raz na jakiś czas
to grab – chwycić
to hand – wręczyć
How’s that working out for you? – Jak to skutkuje w twoim przypadku?
[we don’t] imply ownership in the event of... – nie sugerujemy, kto może być posiadaczem w przypadku, gdy…
keep it up – trzymaj tak dalej
to lean closer to – pochylać się bliżej
to leap over – przeskoczyć przez
modern bombs don’t tick – nowoczesne bomby nie tykają
nine time out of ten – w dziewięciu przypadkach na dziesięć
nitric acid – kwas azotowy
one could blow up the world, if one were so inclined – można wysadzić świat, gdyby miało się na to ochotę
oxygen gets you high – tlen odurza/ sprawia, że jesteś jak naćpany
oxygen masks – maski tlenowe
to peel out – [Am.E.] dodać gazu
to point to – wskazać na
policy – taktyka
[he] pops the latches and raises the lid – otwiera zatrzaski i podnosi wieko
quaintly-wrapped bars of soap – kostki mydła zapakowane w uroczy/ osobliwy sposób
[he] reaches in his pocket – sięga do kieszeni
to smirk – uśmiechać się, np. z wyższością,
eg. She sits there smirking as if she’s the only one who knows the answer.
smug – zadowolony z siebie
[he] snaps the briefcase shut – z trzaskiem zamyka teczkę
task force man – człowiek od zadań specjalnych
to squeeze past – przecisnąć się
to stare at – /gaze at/, gapić się na
the yardstick of civilization – miara cywilizacji
utterly – zupełnie, całkowicie
we accept our fate – godzimy się znaszym losem
we are defined by the choices we make – wybory, jakich dokonujemy, wpływają na nasz wizerunek
we’re taking giant, panicked breaths – w panice nabieramy olbrzymie ilości powietrza
when you travel, everything is small, self-contained – kiedy podróżujesz, wszystko jest małe i zwarte w sobie
witty – dowcipny


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